5 Tips To Having A Happy Marriage

My husband and I have been together for a while. 9 years of hard work that we worked to build a happy marriage. That might be a long time for some and not very long for others that are reading this blog post.

We don’t have a perfect marriage but I like to think we have a healthy one. Just like any other marriage we have been through a lot of relationship struggles and marriage obstacles before and after having babies.

After our son passed away it really changed the dynamic of our marriage. We grieved differently and there were a lot of misunderstandings, miscommunication, and distance between us.

But without these key things I am about to go over in this post, we would not be standing where we are today.

5 Tips To Having A Happy Marriage

Both parties need to be active participants in building a healthy and long-lasting marriage. It is not going to work if only one of you is putting in the work.

1. Learn each other’s love language

Learning and knowing each other’s love language is important because each of us interprets love differently. If you haven’t already, check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And if your husband isn’t much of a reader, there are audio versions or you can share what you learned from the book with him.

2. Actions speak louder than words

This is important in any relationship whether you’re trying to have a better relationship with your husband, friend, family member, or coworker.

This area is something my husband and I have been working on for years. And because of his upbringing, he had a lot of work to do in terms of learning how to express love in more ways than verbalizing it.

I have a few examples of actions that could show your partner that you appreciate them rather than just stating it. You can show appreciation by providing a home cooked meal, give them a back massage, doing something to get some weight off their shoulder, and maybe even give them a day off to go do something fun for themselves.

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3. Communication is key

While actions do speak louder than words, communication is also key to any successful relationship. You can’t assume your partner can read your mind and understand how you’re feeling, what’s going through your mind, or why you’re upset just by looking at you.

I had to learn that not everyone has high emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence or EQ (emotional quotient) is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

And that’s why communication is a must in every relationship. You may have to break it down to where your partner understands. Or simplify what you need from your partner to have a happy marriage.

At one point in our marriage, I felt like his lack of emotional intelligence was almost insulting in a way. I sent my husband this article prior to communicating with him about his EQ.

This is something that we are constantly working through in our marriage (and has gotten much better over the years).

4. Ask instead of tell

Nobody likes being bossed around or told what to do. But it can make a world of a difference when you speak to your partner in a different manner. This can be as easy as asking nicely instead of demanding or talking in a condescending manner.

The crazy thing is that this is one of the simplest ways to show respect and consideration for others. But also one of the easiest things to stop doing over the course of a marriage.

5. View marriage as a team

A happy marriage cannot be successful with two people not wanting to work together as a team. And for a marriage to be a team, the 4 other steps need to be taken to better your relationship with your partner.

Some words that can rub each other off the wrong way without even realizing it are “my, mine, yours, his, hers, or me”. Instead view and acknowledge everything you guys have as a married couple as “ours, us, our home, our life, our belongings”.

Final Thoughts

I’m no relationship or marriage expert. However, I’ve had my fair share of relationship and marriage problems. And along with the basics of having a healthy relationship like trust, honesty, patience, respect, and intimacy, I believe that these 5 tips to a happy marriage can greatly improve your relationship with your partner. Thanks for reading!