5 Tips To Having A Happy Marriage

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My husband and I have been together for going on 8 years. We don’t have a perfect marriage but we do have a very happy marriage. Just like any other marriage, we’ve been through lots of relationship struggles, and marriage obstacles before and after having babies.

happy marriage before kids
Before having babies

The reason we have grown closer together rather than further apart these 8 years of being together is because of these 5 things I have listed below that have helped create a more nurturing environment for our marriage. With lots of communication and self-reflecting, we are stronger than we have ever been.

After having babies

5 Tips To Having A Happy Marriage

1. Learn each other’s love language

Learning and knowing each other’s love language is important because each of us interprets love differently. If you haven’t already, check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And if your husband isn’t much of a reader, there are audio versions or you can share what you learned from the book with him.

2. Actions speak louder than words

This is important in any relationship whether you’re trying to have a better relationship with your husband, friend, family member, or coworker.

This area is something my husband and I have been working on for years. And because of his upbringing, he had a lot of work to do in terms of learning how to express love in more ways than verbalizing it.

I have a few examples of actions that could show your partner that you appreciate them rather than just stating it. You can show appreciation by providing a home cooked meal, give them a back massage, doing something to get some weight off their shoulder, and maybe even give them a day off to go do something fun for themselves.

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3. Communication is key

While actions do speak louder than words, communication is also key to any successful relationship. You can’t assume your partner can read your mind and understand how you’re feeling, what’s going through your mind, or why you’re upset just by looking at you.

I had to learn that some (or maybe the majority) of men don’t have the highest emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence or EQ (emotional quotient) is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

And that’s why communication is a must in every relationship. You may have to break it down to where your partner understands. Or simplify what you need from your partner to have a happy marriage. At one point in our marriage, I felt like his lack of emotional intelligence was almost insulting in a way. I sent my husband this article prior to communicating with him about his EQ. And this is something that we are constantly working through in our marriage (and has gotten much better over the years).

4. Ask instead of tell

Nobody likes being bossed around or told what to do. But it can make a world of a difference when you speak to your partner in a different manner. This can be as easy as asking nicely instead of demanding or talking in a condescending manner.

The crazy thing is that this is one of the simplest ways to show respect and consideration for others. But also one of the easiest things to stop doing over the course of a marriage.

5. View marriage as a team

A happy marriage cannot be successful with two people not wanting to work together as a team. And for a marriage to be a team, the 4 other steps need to be taken to better your relationship with your partner.

Some words that can rub each other off the wrong way without even realizing it are “my, mine, yours, his, hers, or me”. Instead view and acknowledge everything you guys have as a married couple as “ours, us, our home, our life, our belongings”.

Final Thoughts

I’m no relationship or marriage expert. However, I’ve had my fair share of relationship and marriage problems. And along with the basics of having a healthy relationship like trust, honesty, patience, respect, and intimacy, I believe that these 5 tips to a happy marriage can greatly improve your relationship with your partner. Thanks for reading!

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