My husband and I have the furthest thing from a perfect marriage. We have gone through a whole lot of relationship struggles, marriage obstacles before we had a baby, and marriage problems after a baby. And I’d be the first to admit that there’s always room to have a better relationship with your husband.
If there was one thing that my husband and I were always on the same page about during all of our relationship and marriage struggles, it was to find a solution to the overall issue. And that meant a lot of communicating and a lot of self-reflecting.
One of the biggest obstacles marriages go through is the newborn phase. And that’s partially due to stress, being exhausted, the unknown, and a lot of expectations not being met. Marriage problems after having a baby are completely normal and it shouldn’t be a make it or break it.
That’s why I wanted to go over 5 key important things to improve and be on your way to having a better relationship with your husband that has worked for my husband and me, time after time. And this was especially tested to be true as it helped our marriage during the newborn stage rather than causing us further marriage issues after having a baby.
5 Ways To Have A Better Relationship With Husband
1. Learn each other’s love language
Learning and knowing about each other’s love language is important because each of us interprets love differently. If you haven’t already, check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And if your husband isn’t much of a reader, there are audio versions or you can share with him what you learned from the book and talk about the different love languages with him.
2. Actions speak louder than words
This is important in any relationship whether you’re trying to have a better relationship with your husband, friend, family member, or even your pets.
This area is something my husband and I have been working on for several years. And due to the nature of his childhood, he didn’t exactly grow up knowing how to show love or express love in different manners. And even for me, it took a lot of patience to allow time for change and for me to continue showing ‘acts of service’ for my husband.
For example, instead of simply stating you appreciate your husband and you love him, something that could show all of those things is by cooking lunch for him the next day, giving him a back massage, or taking some things off his honey to-do list (if he has one).
3. Communication is key
While actions do speak louder than words, communication is also key to any successful relationship. You can’t assume your husband can read your mind and understand how you’re feeling, what’s going through your mind, or why you’re upset just by looking at you.
I had to learn that some (or maybe the majority) of men don’t have the highest emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence or EQ (emotional quotient) is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
And that’s why communication is a must in every relationship. You may have to break it down to where your husband understands or even layout what it is that you are needing from him. In fact, I sent my husband this article prior to communicating with him about his EQ. And this is something that we are currently working through in our marriage.
4. Ask instead of tell
Nobody likes being bossed around or told what to do. But it can make a world of a difference when you speak to your husband in a different manner. This can be as easy as asking nicely instead of demanding.
And the crazy thing is that this is one of the simplest ways to show respect and consideration for others. But it seems to be one of the easiest things that we stop doing over the course of a marriage.
5. View marriage as a team
Marriage cannot be successful with two people not wanting to work together as a team. And for a marriage to be a team, the preceding 4 ingredients to a better relationship with your husband need to be combined.
Some words that can rub each other off the wrong way without even realizing it are “my, mine, yours, his, hers, or me”. Instead view and acknowledge everything you guys have as a married couple as “ours, us, our home, our life, our belongings”.
I’m no relationship or marriage guru. However, I’ve had my fair share of relationship and marriage issues. And along with the basics of having a healthy relationship like trust, honesty, patience, respect, and intimacy, I whole-heartedly believe that this list of 5 ways to have a better relationship with your husband can improve underlying flaws. Thanks for reading!